By William J. Cromie

Gazette Staff

The 1997 Ig Nobel Prize in Biology was presented to T. Yagyu and his colleagues on Oct. 9 at Harvard University's venerable Sanders Theatre. The distinguished scientists were honored for a seminal study that measured how chewing different flavors of gum affects people's brain waves.

The audience laughed, jeered, cheered, and filled the hall with paper airplanes.

The researchers received a raggedy statuette emblazoned with gold foil and some tacky ornamentation. They also got a plastic shopping bag filled with brown shoelaces, a fresh pair of Odor-Eaters, shoe polish and some other junk.

Neither Yagyu nor his colleagues from institutions in Japan, Switzerland, and the Czech Republic could or would show up to claim their prize. Only a few winners have the sense of humor required to accept an award for "achievements that cannot and should not be reproduced."

Some people, however, actually come back for more. Guests at the 1997 festivities included Don Featherstone, who won the 1996 Ig Nobel for Art for invention of that fowl lawn decoration, the plastic pink flamingo.

Research honored by the Ig Nobels is, unfortunately, like the pink flamingo, the real thing; it is not made up by humor writers. Yagyu and his team actually published the results of their work in the journal Neuropsychobiology, Volume 35, 1997, pages 46-50. The report is titled "Chewing gum flavor affects measures of global complexity of multichannel EEG [electroencephalograph]."

Believe It or Not

The bug prize -- the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize in entomology -- went to Mark Hostetler of the University of Florida, who achieved his richly deserved fame for identifying the splatted bodies of insects found on windshields. This work was so productive that he wrote an important book on the subject called That Gunk on Your Car, published by Ten Speed Press. (We are not making this up.)

A man of good humor, Hostetler actually showed up to claim his prize. He even gave a witty lecture the next day to Harvard students and faculty. Those wishing to identity specific splats on their windshields can contact Hostetler at the University of Florida, 223 Bartram Hall, Gainesville, FL 32611.

Astronomy is a subject that fascinates and puzzles many people, some of whom claim to have viewed structures on Mars and the Moon. Richard Hoagland, for example, identified a human face on Mars and 10-mile-high buildings on the far side of the Moon. He describes these in an unforgivable book, The Monuments of Mars: A City on the Edge of Forever, published by North Atlantic Books. Thus, Hoagland was a natural to receive the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize in Astronomy.

Another highlight of the evening involved the Prize for Literature awarded to Doron Witztum, Eliyahu Rips, Yoav Rosenberg, and Michael Drosnin for giving new meaning to the Bible. They discovered it contains a hidden code, which, when deciphered, makes prophesies about the future. If you believe that, you should read Drosnin's book The Bible Code (Simon & Schuster).

The Economics Prize went to Akihiro Yokoi and Aki Maita, the father and mother of Tamagotchi, those small electronic "pets" that demand enough care to keep millions of kids from their homework. The Ig Nobel for Physics was inflicted on John Bockris of Texas A&M University for his work with cold fusion, the century's biggest nondiscovery. Bockris was also praised for his efforts to turn lead into gold.

Harold Hillman of the University of Surrey in England grabbed the Ig Nobel Peace Prize for his lovingly rendered report, "The Possible Pain Experienced During Execution by Different Methods." Sanford Wallace captured the Communications Ig Nobel for his untiring efforts to deliver an unending stream of junk e-mail to the world.

The Ig Nobel for Medicine went to Carl Charnetski and Francis X. Brennan Jr. for their "discovery" that elevator music stimulates production of body chemicals that may help prevent colds. One possible explanation for this conclusion is that Brennan works for Muzak Ltd. in Seattle.

Last and least, the Meteorology Ig Nobel went to Bernard Vonnegut for his windy report, "Chicken Plucking as a Measure of Tornado Wind Speed." If you want to learn more, see the October 1975 issue of Weatherwise. Bernard, who died earlier this year, is the older brother of novelist Kurt Vonnegut. The award was accepted by Bernard's son, Peter, who said he "enjoyed having fun at Dad's expense."

Her Majesty's Whiner

This good-natured spoof of scientists and the elite Nobel Prizes is the brainchild of Marc Abrahams, editor of the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR): The Journal for Inflated Research and Personalities. The publication is sometimes described as the Mad Magazine of science.

Last week's improbable event was cosponsored by AIR, the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Society, and the Harvard Computer Society.

Abrahams served as master of ceremonies for the celebration, and he shamelessly touted his new book, The Best of the Annals of Improbable Research, published by W.H. Freeman.

Also participating were four actual Nobel laureates: Dudley Herschbach (Chemistry, 1986), William Lipscomb (Chemistry, 1976), Richard Roberts (Medicine, 1993), and Robert Wilson (Physics, 1978).

Like the Ig Nobelists, the real Nobelists suffered their share of "igdignities." These included being dressed up as subatomic particles for the world premiere of a mini-opera, called Il Kaboom Grosso, about the big bang that began the universe. The cast also included Harvard's Rev. Peter J. Gomes, Plummer Professor of Christian Morals and Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church, who wrote a popular book on the Bible, called The Good Book.

Several of the Nobel laureates allowed plaster casts of their left feet to be auctioned off for the benefit of science programs at local public schools. The foot icons fetched from $20 to $85 each.

Not all mainstream scientists think Ig Nobels are fun. Last year, Sir Robert May, the British government's chief scientific adviser, complained that the prizes ridicule serious science and scientists. In reply, a British scientific journal, Chemistry and Industry, noted that "May's misfire only makes him (and British science) look thin-skinned and humorless. . . . He misunderstands the point, the process, and the pleasure of the awards. . . . Long may British scientists take their rightful places in the Ig Nobel honour roll."

For those who wish to cheer or jeer the "Igs," the 1997 ceremony will be broadcast Nov. 28 on National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation: Science Friday.

Those wishing to know more about these spoofs, or to suggest candidates for next year's awards, should contact Marc Abrahams at AIR, P.O. Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238, or marca@improb.com.